Adversity.. [a difficult or unpleasant situation.]
Have you ever noticed that all the people who are really interesting have faced adversity in some way?
Ever noticed how the people that are the most emotionally intelligent, deep, compassionate and all around rock stars are those who have trawled through hell?
So many of us refuse to embrace the shadow shit that comes with being an adult. The first time it attempts to reveal itself we have no idea of the riches that await us on the other side, noticing only the discomfort.
In so doing, the darkness is forced to amplify itself until it knocks us head over foot onto our arses, so that when we finally take notice we find ourselves on our hands and knees praying and asking for mercy.
In the uncertainty, fear and apparent isolation of our own personal adversity, we do not know that the lessons, blessings and opportunity, much like broccoli, are actually really healthy and give us all sorts of internal goodness as we ingest it.
So, if you are experiencing or facing adversity of any sort right now, please know this:
Adversity builds confidence.
Adversity builds resilience.
Adversity builds empathy and compassion.
Adversity builds self respect and acceptance.
Adversity forces us to choose whether we fight or give up, it builds character and fortitude.
In ‘Misfit to Maven – from Argh to Ahhh’, I tell my story and share how I went from version 1.0 to v2.0 and the adversity that allowed me to do so. In last week’s Pep, I talked about the upgrade I’m currently making from v2.0 to v3.0 and whilst this story isn’t in any way as dramatic, I’m pretty sure that is because I have learned to embrace adversity and the shadows she shows me.
Many of my favourite people have experienced life-altering adversity and I am pretty sure that it is because of, rather than in spite of, these experiences that they are so awesome!
Yesterday, an old friend shared that she’s writing a book about how trying to conceive, and her and her partner’s journey with fertility have changed them both for the better.
“During the 26 months of fertility fun we went through (one uterine operation, 6 rounds of Clomid, 4 rounds of ovulation induction and one successful round of IVF), I learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. I changed into a more patient, more confident and happier person. Despite how difficult it was, the process became a huge part of who I am now, how I look at the world and how I approach all aspects of my life.”
(you can read the rest of her blog about it here.)
Then I met a new friend for coffee and he told me about the stroke he experienced at 35 and how although he wouldn’t wish the experience on anyone, learning who he is now, and choosing who he becoming is an adventure. (For the record, who he is becoming is really very awesome.)
Another friend recently experienced miscarriage, another is battling an autoimmune issue, another a custody battle, another caring for a dying father….
I have so much compassion for the suffering each is going through and at the same time, I witness with so much love the grace with which they endure.
And here’s the thing, it’s not about what life throws at you, but how you deal with it.
Our job is not to push away adversity, but instead to become resilience-ninja’s, to face adversity head on, embrace it and overcome!
If you are experiencing some tough stuff right now, please know this… even though it may not feel like it right now, this is an opportunity for you to become a version of yourself that you LOVE, that you’re proud of, that lights you up and that recognises with glorious gratitude the treasure that is your life!