Do you want to get your shit together?
According to Urban Dictionary, getting your shit together is defined as getting your life in order, not fucking around and getting your head on straight.
According to the Cambridge dictionary getting your shit together is to be or become effective, organised, and skilful.
According to what most of my clients tell me they want, getting your shit together is about feeling organised, feeling calm, feeling capable and at peace.
And the truth is that in order to have your shit together, you need to feel congruent, and on track. You need to know that you’re making progress. You need to know that all roads are leading toward a desired outcome.
In order for that to happen, you need to know what you are aligning to.
Without knowing who you are, what you value, what you stand for, what you offer, or what you want, you cannot get your shit together because you are always aligning to someone else’s true north, rather than your own.
People who don’t have their shit together tend to pinball from one idea to the next, with no clear focus.
People who have their shit together choose to focus on one thing at a time, staying with it even if it gets uncomfortable or inconvenient to do so.
People who don’t have their shit together tend to focus on being perfect.
People who have their shit together focus instead on action, and on actually doing it, living it, experiencing it. They allow room for messy and are flexible and adaptable when things don’t go as anticipated.
People who don’t feel like they have their shit together tend to aim the bar so high that they cannot possibly reach it, and feel so overwhelmed by it that they don’t even start.
People who feel like they have their shit together have mastered the art of consistent baby steps. They continue to put one foot in front of the other and recognise that all forward motion no matter the outcome is heading in the direction of their dreams and all procrastination leads to further stagnation and makes it harder to start again.
Instead of choosing to believe that you could be perfect, people who have their shit together recognise that the concept of perfection is merely an excuse or way to dislike yourself at a fundamental level.
People who have their shit together have chosen to ‘own their shit.’
Our default as humans is to want to avoid the pain, discomfort or inconvenience of facing or owning our shit.
What is the shit that you are avoiding?
For most people who don’t have their shit together, its just not painful enough yet.
What is the truth that you are avoiding?
What’s the price you are currently paying for not having your shit together?
Why bother getting your shit together?
If you do nothing else, just define it:
What does not having your shit together mean to you?
Get specific. It could be your relationship, career, mindset, or your ability to get something / anything accomplished.
Write a shit list… write a list of everything that is a mess right now.
- Physically – Environment (house, work, friends, clothes, car, health)
If you’re ready to get your shit together, follow these 7 steps.
Get clear on your purpose
People who have their shit together use their feelings and intuition as guides. They allow their heart and gut to have an opinion, not just their heads. They are creative, compassionate and courageous. They’ve gotten clear on their purpose and are guided by it and choose to align with it.
Manage your mind monkeys
People who have their shit together know that what other people think of them is none of their business. Managing your mind monkeys and taking control of your thoughts is a big part of having your head on straight. As are positive self talk, asking good questions and proactively looking after your mental health.
Choose your identity
You get to choose your identity. Identity isn’t static its fluid. You can be whoever you want to be. Awareness is everything, get to know your flaws, get to know your gifts. People who have their shit together invest in themselves. They invest in their environment and in support by becoming part of a mastermind or coaching group. Learning to accept, and becoming someone you like is a HUGE part of having your shit together. Doing so with other people who are supportive and also doing the work makes it so much more fun! (Having your shit together doesn’t have to be dull!)
Building a life you love, building a life that you can get on board with and want to be responsible for, will mean that you want to adult. Adulting is having your shit together. Knowing what is going on when, being conscientious, speaking your mind and doing what you say you’re going to are all traits shared by people who have their shit together.
Don’t be a martyr or a victim about it. Stop secretly looking to be rescued and decide that you are going to take responsibility for yourself and your reality.
This doesn’t mean that you have to do it all yourself, but you do need to want to take ownership of your reality. People who have their shit together know that complaining or comparing is a waste of energy. They know that taking responsibility and doing something different will yield a different result.
How do you want to spend your time?
Time is finite and one of your greatest assets. People who their shit together have a healthy relationship with time. Instead of wishing it away, or acting as if there is never enough, they are respectful of time, and engage fully in each moment. They prioritise in line with their values and their vision.
Having your shit together means being courageous and stepping outside of what is comfortable. It means changing what you are currently tolerating. It means expressing yourself and articulating your needs, wants and desires. People who have their shit together are fully expressed. They communicate their talents and their shortcomings or challenges.
Be consistent and committed.
People who have their shit together are committed. They never give up. People who don’t have their shit together are quick to quit, people who have their shit together are tenacious and persistent. They don’t give up when things get tricky, they ask for help and they invest in finding a creative solution.
Having your shit together means knowing that there will be times where you do not have your shit together, and that’s really okay too.
You do not have to have it all together ALL the time, but knowing how to come back to yourself, and to a place of clarity and action is going to mean that when life throws you lemons you can be messy and chaotic without losing your mind or your sense of sanity.
Want some help getting your shit together? Contact me.