Okay folks, its truth bomb time = no one is coming to rescue you.
If you’ve been following me for any length of time you’ll know that I am all about self empowerment, sometimes around here it gets called ‘Adulting’ and sometimes I talk about taking radical responsibility; whatever way you wanna slice it, there isn’t a hero or heroine on a white charger coming to save you.
More importantly though, you do not need rescuing, saving or fixing.
You are enough, your flaws and your challenges are opportunities for growth and self empowerment. You have everything you need inside of you already. Whilst you might need help or support, you are not broken and you can take back your power if you choose to.
It’s time to stop being a princess and start being the Queen or King of your realm.
None of us want to admit that we are giving our power away, or that we’re allowing ourselves to be disempowered, but losing your self empowerment often isn’t conscious and often happens sneakily one micro action or micro decision at a time.
If you are not sure if you have relinquished your power and are secretly waiting for someone to save you, answer these questions:
Do you sometimes put people on a pedestal?
Do you decide that some people are out of your league (as friends, as lovers, as peers?)
Have you decided that a certain level of money or ease or pleasure is not available to you?
Are you hoping that if you hire a coach or a mentor, they’re going to give you a definitive answer?
Do you look to a parent, ‘guru’ or lover for the ‘rules’?
Do you blame circumstances for your feelings?
When things don’t go to plan, do you wallow and wait for something outside of yourself to change so that you’ll feel better?
Do you find yourself engaged in drama dynamics?
If you answered yes to any of these, and you’re ready to take back your power and find a way to consistent self empowerment, you must first do three things:
Decide (Really decide not ‘try.’)
Be brave (locate your inner courage and take its hand.)
Do something different (move forward in the direction of your fear.)
If you often find yourself in the role of victim, persecutor or rescuer, there is another way.
It is possible to go from
Victim to Creator
Persector to challenger
Rescuer to coach
If you aren’t ready to get support on this, but want to work on empowering yourself, here are my 5 top tips:
Ask better questions
Asking “why is this happening to me?” Is one of the most unhelpful questions you can ask. Asking instead “What am I learning here?” or “How can I learn and grow from this experience?’ is far more useful.
Accept what you can control
You cannot control many of lifes circumstances: The weather, the traffic, other people’s opinions, but you can control your reactions, your beliefs, your behaviour and actions.
Believe in your resilience
Look for evidence that you can, rather than presuming that you can’t. Actively seek out examples of your abilities to survive adversity. There are so many examples of times when something felt impossible, and yet you overcame and you made it through.
Change is inevitable, there is little point in pushing it away. If we are not growing, we’re dying – and either way, nothing remains the same, we are in constant flux and change. As humans our greatest instinct is to recreate the familiar – however uncomfortable and undesired, our superego knows that we survived everything that has already happened and its job is to keep you alive, so it recreates that which you have already lived through. However your souls desire is for growth and full expression, which requires change and uncertainty. If you walk towards it willingly it’ll be so much more fun!
Face challenge with a creators mindset, rather than a victim mindset.
Instead of looking at the problem and looking at a way to solve it, which will only ever be a band aid, quick fix from a place of lack and “woe is me’ – focus your attention and intention on what it is that you are looking to create. Involve your senses, what will it feel like, look like, sound like, smell like? Step into a place of creativity and imagination and from this ‘juiced’ up place, ask “and what action do I want to take to move me forward now?”
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein