Last weekend I shaved my head and these are some of the thoughts that ran through my mind as I did:
“Am I having a breakdown? Will people think I’m doing a Britney?”
“Will I still be sexy?”
“Will people think I’m a lesbian now?”
“Hmmm, interesting, remember when I actually thought I was crazy, and was genuinely worried that someone was going to section me!”
A lot has changed in 10 years.
10 years ago my world centred around what everyone else was doing, and thinking. I was caught up in the deep comparison-itis that is rife in us all!
(Now though the thoughts I had about how I might be seen were fleeting, from a place of neutral curiosity, and my relationship with my gender and sexuality is very much up for exploration, as it is for us all who want to be empowered, happy, healthy, successful adults.)
I’m not sure I was even a tiny bit aware of how deep societal conditioning around what would make me ‘okay’ really ran. I had no idea that I was bleaching my hair because I (along with everyone else) have been culturally brainwashed into believing that being blonde demonstrates our youth, vitality, virginity, privilege, class, and desirability.
There’s a bit in my book ‘Misfit to Maven – from Argh to Ahhh’ where I talk about comparing myself to Britney Spears and I remember mentally assigning her head-shaving scenario into a section marked ‘demonstration of crazy behaviour.’
Why did I do it?
Am I crazy?
No… actually I am the most sane and grounded and happy I think I have ever been.
I shaved my head because when we are manifesting the life we truly want, we have to show up as the person who has it already, the person for whom it is already a done deal…
What that means in practical day-to-day terms, is using our tools to be as present and as soul-full as we can be.
Meditating, journaling, grounding, listening to the goddess winks and the guidance that our intuition and our guides share with us.
On Sunday last week during a new moon ritual and meditation, mine told me to shave my head and take a giant step forward into not giving a fuck about conventional norms of beauty that I have been attached to and caged by for so long…
Goodbye bleached blonde or dusky pink hair, hello natural bare me!
So, here I am with a shaved head and after sharing my picture on Facebook and Instagram, looking at more ‘likes’ and comments than I have EVER had before on anything else.
Watching the comments come in and responding from a place of connection and truth, I realised that for the first time in my adult life I completely 100% love myself.
Quite the opposite of giving away my power to the label of ‘crazy’ and unhinged shaving my head was a way to ritualise and initiate myself and to take ownership of my internal beauty and power.
When I talk to my clients about finding the right action, the aligned action and BEING the person you need to be, to have the kind of life you desire, what I do not mean is THINKING about what that person would do. What I mean is FEELING into and EMBODYING the vibration of that version of yourself and then taking action that ENERGISES that person into being.
- If you are feeling powerless, but are ready to take back your power.
- If you are done playing a role (sister, wife, daughter, friend,) and feel unsure about who you really are, but are curious to find out.
- If you up for doing whatever it takes to relinquish the invisible but irrefutable shackles that keep you small, and caged in a life that no longer fits…
My invitation to you is to take a step in aligned action and sign up for a ‘possibilities call’ with me – and lets see where this adventure into personal growth, and leadership of your own life takes you!
1 year later….. *Update*
Click play to watch my update 1 year on about what I learnt over the year as my hair grew back.
People have asked to see the video of me cutting it off – so here it is: